How social are you?

[sharonlover]

You don't have to post in the thread EI if you don't like the conversation

though I do agree with what you said. A small group of friends is nice, but my problem is I have a small group of RL friends; however, because it's a small group (they themselves have a big group that I don't deal with) when I want to do something with them they are always off doing something else. This leaves my wife and myself home alone the majority of the time with nothing to do. Thus one of the reasons why I'm always here (not that it's entirely that bad )

What's sad is that the wife and I are trying to figure out how to get more friends because neither of us have ever been really social. I stuck with the same group of friends since school and never had to 'find' new friends. She was homeschooled and just didn't have any besides the neighbor, so both of us find it rather awkward looking for friends.

We've tried going to a club (anime club, not music) since our interests and hobbies revolve around video games and anime but most people that go to these club meetings are very immature. I don't mind immaturatity as it makes me feel a little young (i'm only 25, not really even that old) but these people are older and they are ALWAYS acting like some immature kid and I just don't like that. So it's hard for us to find people to hang with. Now that we've moved to a new place, we're hoping to get to know the neighbors and such and see how that works out.

[Redwing]

Forgive me for misunderstanding, Road, but it sounded like you were trying to make this into a popularity contest. Or a "social" contest, but whatever. I'm social. I've got friends "IRL". We don't talk using phones, we talk in person and online. We don't text (I've sent a total of 11 of those things in my life), we get together and do things. And if I'm not with my friends, I don't grab my phone and text/talk to them because I don't know anyone who's with me at the moment. I actually talk to and meet people around me. Now who's anti-social... the guy texting his established friends in the corner or the guy making new ones? I'm not going to say it's an "undeniable fact", no-- I'll let you decide.

Edit: Well, read your last post and that doesn't sound like popularity contest, sorry. Your other posts sounded like you were getting on people about not talking on the phone Really, school is the best place to meet new people, but obviously that's not quite an option for you. You've got a good idea of going to gatherings of people who are interested in the same things as you, but if you're looking for maturity, I'd recommend steering clear of Anime (no offense to anyone on the board, you're all mature people )

[Road]

Btw I just had a 1:02 conversation with my brother over various topics.

[Road]

@ Imperor ing. Lol I love your honestly. Fuck this thread! xD

For the rest of you. You can consider this an popularity contest if you want but I don't consider it to be one. I made this thread to gain more understanding in the people I've decided to communicate with online. I want to understand more about you guys so if I ever do flame you, it can be informed and not just a random attempt to goad you. Also if any of you want a friend to talk to. You can call me. I have free time 24/7 so my number is 678-773-8793

[Lazarius]

Nah you just don't fully understand the issue. If people don't like you, a good sign is they only talk to you when you initiate a conversation with them. They talk to you because they are trying to be polite; unwilling to hurt your feelings. If they are really your friend and they really like you. They want to spend a lot a of time you with. They think of you constantly and require your insight on a lot of things. This fact alone is undeniable.

So, if people don't talk to you much it means they don't like you? Well, here are some examples when that's not right.

1. If there's someone you're romantically interested in, chances are it's hard talking to them. But, just because you don't start conversations with them doesn't mean you don't jump for joy at an excuse to talk to them.
2. I actually find it hard to talk to most people. I'm terrible at small talk, I couldn't start a conversation to save my life, and I avoid eye contact at all times. Fuck, I blush even just looking at someone. And this is with my best friends. A lot of my friends I probably talk to more on MSN than real life, it's just a lot easier. Of course, there are some people I have no trouble talking too.

So, as I said above, I agree with Sharonlover. Online friends are a lot easier to talk to. Like he said, I don't give a fuck if they care about what I'm saying, if they're acting like they do that's all that maters.

Also, you posted 3 times in a row. Although, that was probably necessary due to that fucking quote limit.

[Road]

So, if people don't talk to you much it means they don't like you? Well, here are some examples when that's not right.

1. If there's someone you're romantically interested in, chances are it's hard talking to them. But, just because you don't start conversations with them doesn't mean you don't jump for joy at an excuse to talk to them.
2. I actually find it hard to talk to most people. I'm terrible at small talk, I couldn't start a conversation to save my life, and I avoid eye contact at all times. Fuck, I blush even just looking at someone. And this is with my best friends. A lot of my friends I probably talk to more on MSN than real life, it's just a lot easier. Of course, there are some people I have no trouble talking too.

So, as I said above, I agree with Sharonlover. Online friends are a lot easier to talk to. Like he said, I don't give a fuck if they care about what I'm saying, if they're acting like they do that's all that maters.

Also, you posted 3 times in a row. Although, that was probably necessary due to that fucking quote limit.

You have some valid points in there. I do believe however, that you have problems around people and probably suffer from a social anxiety. You may need to work on that. I've never had a good relationship, and I too have problems saying what's on my mind to someone I'm interested in. A lot of Men also have been known to have difficulties expressing our emotions. Scientist have proven it's because of the way our brain is wired. I can open up to people I have befriended. I put everything on the line when making a new friend in the hope it pays off. You may not think about it like this but friendships are an investment. Sometimes you have to compromise and humiliate yourself for it to pay off. I'm willing to endure embarrisments in social situations because I don't want to be alone anymore. Before it wasn't a problem because I would just distract myself with video games and WoW. But now I'm getting smarter and wiser every day. I'm starting to see that I need to apply myself and try my best if I want a happy existence.

Online friends are nothing but a distraction. I've had a lot of experiences with online friends. More than you possibly have. Let me tell you that nothing replaces a real friend. People eventually get a life and stop logging onto aim. Their account gets hacked, they forget their password. They move onto a new game a grow a hatred for people who haven't moved on. They aren't your friends. They are only temporary company that is mainly interested in you because you two can accomplish something together. Of all the "friends" I have met over the internet. Only one became a real friend (he lives 30 miles from me).

[Lazarius]

Online friends are nothing but a distraction. I've had a lot of experiences with online friends. More than you possibly have. Let me tell you that nothing replaces a real friend. People eventually get a life and stop logging onto aim. Their account gets hacked, they forget their password. They move onto a new game a grow a hatred for people who haven't moved on. They aren't your friends. They are only temporary company that is mainly interested in you because you two can accomplish something together. Of all the "friends" I have met over the internet. Only one became a real friend (he lives 30 miles from me).

Oh so it's a 'Who has more online friends' war you want, eh? I played Warcraft for few years, so I have a fair bit of experience. One friend in particular I had a lot of fun with. Although we never met, I really felt connected with him. And even though I don't play WoW any more, we still talk like every day on MSN.

Oh, interesting little fact. Before I played WoW, I played Runescape. I knew him in Runescape as well. By complete chance, I met someone in WoW and thought, 'Wow, he has the same name as my friend' So, because he was on an Australian server, and because I knew my friend was from Australia I thought I might as well ask him. But before I even asked him, he asked me.

Yeah, it was pretty epic...

Oh yeah, and, even though Redmage has left this forum, I still talk to him on MSN, probably more than anyone else.

So Online Friends CAN last.

[sharonlover]

he wasn't saying that they don't last, merely stating that eventually the majority of 'online friends' disappear. I've had a few happen to me, but I always find more, or there's always a board like this to run into interesting people.

Even if you prefer RL friends, I prefer online friends....another reason why you ask?

It's easier to replace/get over online friends versus RL friends.

And this isn't a popularity war on who has more friends online, its a 'social' discussion board.

[Lazarius]

And this isn't a popularity war on who has more friends online, its a 'social' discussion board.

That was a joke.

[Road]

Had another 52:43 conversation with my brother about stuff. I forgot what he originally called for We are going to dinner with his boyfriend this weekend.

I remember what he called for. He wanted me to watch this: http://www.atom.com/channel/channel_legend_of_neil/

I did but we dragged on about musicians and had a delightful conversation about how record companies steal money from them.

[Lazarius]

Had another 52:43 conversation with my brother about stuff. I forgot what he originally called for We are going to dinner with his boyfriend this weekend.

I remember what he called for. He wanted me to watch this: http://www.atom.com/channel/channel_legend_of_neil/

I did but we dragged on about musicians and had a delightful conversation about how record companies steal money from them.

You're brother invited you out with his boyfriend? Weird... can't see MY brother inviting me out with his girlfriend...

[Road]

Today was fun.
Goodbye everyone.

[Redwing]

Is this like, a diary now? We don't really need to hear about all your excursions... Or are you just trying to prompt us into one-upping you with our own to turn this into a big pointless competition?

[AMetroidGuy]

Online friends are nothing but a distraction. I've had a lot of experiences with online friends. More than you possibly have. Let me tell you that nothing replaces a real friend. People eventually get a life and stop logging onto aim. Their account gets hacked, they forget their password. They move onto a new game a grow a hatred for people who haven't moved on. They aren't your friends. They are only temporary company that is mainly interested in you because you two can accomplish something together. Of all the "friends" I have met over the internet. Only one became a real friend (he lives 30 miles from me).

I have had one online friend for about 10 years now. He came to visit me all the way from the other coast last year. We still talk all the time, he has called me 1-3 times a week for that whole decade and still does. He is by far one of the most important people in my life. We have been through a lot, and helped each other through a lot too. Meanwhile, numerous offline people I was very close to at one point or another have drifted away as our lives took different paths.

That said, I think it is concerning when people like sharonlover and Lazarius prefer online friends because of the detachment and potential insincerity. I don’t think it’s healthy and if I were a parent or meatspace friend to either, I would try to help them change those behaviors and opinions. But as long as they’re happy, I guess... sharonlover does have a wife, though, so we kow he has at least one form of regular social interaction...
It IS possible to be shy and still make friends, and it is worth the effort. It may not be easy to find the right people, but persistence wins out eventually. I was extremely alone and detached when I was younger, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye, I never spoke to strangers, asked for help in stores, etc.. Not ashamed to say that I still prefer a lot of space and time to myself. But I love spending time with my friends face-to-face, I value their input a lot because I know it’s real and their concern is genuine - or when it’s not, I know that, too. I was hired by my first boss after college because he liked how much I looked him in the eye when answering interview questions. It takes practice and hard work to deal with social anxiety, but it is extremely worthwhile. And having real people really care is so important. Superficial interactions, online or offline, are a waste of time and ultimately very hollow. To seek validation from someone who couldn’t care less is really just seeking it from yourself, and if you are well-adjusted and self-aware, you really don’t need to involve another person and tell them all your personal crap - much healthier to deal with yourself directly rather than by proxy. This is why I have no patience for people who play games, in cyberspace or “real life”.

Had another 52:43 conversation with my brother about stuff. I forgot what he originally called for We are going to dinner with his boyfriend this weekend.

You're brother invited you out with his boyfriend? Weird... can't see MY brother inviting me out with his girlfriend...

Well what kind of girl is she, and how much alike are you and your brother? Do they even do things together that you would enjoy, or talk about subjects that interest you?
I find that another nice thing about dating guys is that you can do and discuss “dude stuff” as well as romantic stuff and you both enjoy it. Many girls also have this concept that couplehood is about him devoting time to her that fewer gus seem to have( though plenty still do).

Today was fun.
Goodbye everyone.

Is this like, a diary now? We don't really need to hear about all your excursions... Or are you just trying to prompt us into one-upping you with our own to turn this into a big pointless competition?

Road, didn’t you once criticize me for “blogging”? And I wasn’t actually blogging, just writing long posts.

[Road]

Road, didn’t you once criticize me for “blogging”? And I wasn’t actually blogging, just writing long posts.

You were blogging about a social issue. Sort of like how I am blogging about our social experiences. You call it writing long posts. I call it blogging. That will be all I'll discuss of this.

Now my dinner with brother and boyfriend was cancelled because he went shopping too much with my sister. She was looking for white "skinny" jeans but it's after labor day and no clothing stores had them. She bought a nice form fitting coat and red skinny jeans instead.