My Favorite Samus Moment

When she unlocks the interstellar probe system on Elysia, in Corruption. Allow me to explain.


Samus: HQ, I'm combing Skytown for varia-compatible munitions. Can you upload Skytown's inventory data to my suit?

AU242: We are very sorry Samus, but we do not possess this data.

Samus: Seriously? You've been occupying Skytown for Xenu-knows how many years, and you never bothered? What about Unit-217? Doesn't he know?

AU217: Mmmm? Oh, what a terrible dream we were having.

Samus: Sigh....

*later, Samus finds her way into the Observatory*

Samus: Woah, I know how these probes work! I got one for my sweet sixteen back on Zebes!

AU242: Samus, this is unknown Chozo technology. Protocal dictates that you must refrain-

Samus: BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! UNKNOWN YO FACE!!!! IMMA FIND ME SUM SHIT NOW!!!!

Admiral Dane: Samus, this is Admiral Dane. You need to-

Samus: PUNY HU-MON NIGGAZ DON'T DECIDE MAH NEEDS!

Admiral Dane: Our reconnaissance teams are-

Samus: FUCK DAT SHIT! YO RECON TEAMS BE MADE UP OF PUNY HU-MONS LIKE YOU! IMMA MAKE YO ENTIRE INTELLIGENCE NETWORK OBSOLETE, HU-MON!

*fires up the probes*

AU217: Please Samus, you are usurping my control over Skytown.

Samus: WELL AIN'T DAT A BITCH? NOW YOU SHADDAP AND MAKE DIS SISTA A SAMWICH, HU-MON COMPUTER! KITCHEN'S OVER NEAR DAT LANDING PAD B!

Admiral Dane: Samus, I'm giving you a direct order to-

Samus: IMMA SPY ON YO ASS TOO, FOO!!!!!

*sends probe to Norion*

The moral of this story is that Chozo speak ebonics.

[Redwing]

Are you drunk?

If you hadn't explained that you love this part because it's where Samus really connects with her Chozo heritage to me already over IM, I would be completely missing your point here.

[Outlaw]

That doesn't help everyone else see the point lawl.

[Mr. McIHOP]

really wish you didnt use the "n" word.....

[Lazarius]

Are you drunk?

Second'd

[Redwing]

That doesn't help everyone else see the point lawl.

He likes it because it really shows that despite Samus working for the GF and living in GF space with largely human-based populations, she's got that Chozo power backing her up everywhere she goes.

I feel like I'm on cleanup duty here.

[MaiAriSquee]

I totally understood it, I don't know what ya'lls problem is! But then again, I'm a kook, and regularly explain myself in that manner.

("This goose and I, we're homies. So when he gets all up in mah face like FEED ME, BITCH! I'm like BACK OFF, BROTHA, I'M THE ONE WITH THE FOOD AND OPPOSABLE THUMBS-!")

edit: Also, I totally need to find that moment in walkthrough or something now. About when does it happen??

[Naner]

I understand: There is no point to it, it's just fucking funny.

Also, I totally need to find that moment in walkthrough or something now. About when does it happen??

I believe it happens after you get the spider ball. The observatory sequence isn't needed to beat the game, though (it just makes it easier to find all the items), so some walkthroughs may not include it.

Also, there's not actually any dialogue in that scene. Presumably because the GF is too ashamed to say anything when Samus proves that she can look after their interests better than they can.


EDIT: also, you have a goose?

[AuroraUnitComplex]

Samus: IMMA SPY ON YO ASS TOO, FOO!!!!!

*sends probe to Norion*

Too much fun. You know, forget this bounty hunter business. I could seriously see Samus as being the ultimate "big brother" Chozo hacker. 24/7 access to GF databases, secret Chozo technology with integrated biosystems, scan visor, logbook inventories...(who knows what other secret IT is in that customized ship of hers). Nothing like getting your network screw attacked. If worst comes to worst, she could just fly over to the supercomputer complex, manually input a virus, or just blow it teh hell up.

I guess it proves the suspicion that the Chozo were just a bunch of simple hackers in disguise. The remnants are probably tracking Samus as we speak. Spying on her and crafting the next conveniently-placed upgrade patch for her power suit. That's how she can get those Chozo system updates.