Happy

by **Outlaw** » 02.23.10 9:56pm

Oh and not to cross reference another thread but... You can be confident and not a jerk!

by **-ChozoChild-** » 02.23.10 10:44pm

I'd try to work things out in a bit of a different way, maybe it's the whole idea of talking to her abut prom that's making you nervous.
Maybe talk to her about something you know she likes or is into. I'm sure that you've seen her around, so by now you should know what she likes, or what common ground you share with her.Then after you talk and get you conference level up, then you can ask her out to prom. It might not work for you, but that may be one way of handling this situation.

by **Steamlord** » 02.23.10 10:48pm

-ChozoChild- wrote:I'd try to work things out in a bit of a different way, maybe it's the whole idea of talking to her abut prom that's making you nervous.
Maybe talk to her about something you know she likes or is into. I'm sure that you've seen her around, so by now you should know what she likes, or what common ground you share with her.Then after you talk and get you conference level up, then you can ask her out to prom. It might not work for you, but that may be one way of handling this situation.

Yeah, it's not just about prom, it's just kind of in general. I'm not really that concerned about the prom aspect.

by **Outlaw** » 02.23.10 10:53pm

Probably because you think of relationship when you think of her. Don't dream so big so quick.

by **Steamlord** » 02.23.10 11:01pm

Yeah, that's a pretty good point. It's still going to be difficult, but I need to keep that in mind. Thanks.

by **Outlaw** » 02.23.10 11:06pm

Tell men, does thy lady in which you fancy have thyself a facebook/myspace in which you would more than likely feel more comfortable chatting to her with? In a non-internet-stalker sort of way?

by **Steamlord** » 02.23.10 11:10pm

She probably does, but I don't. I've never really felt the need for either of them. And making one just to talk to her would be the very definition of internet stalker. I'm not going down that road.

by **ph00tbag** » 02.24.10 11:16am

Well, based on your current description, Steamlord, I can say for a fact that if you never talk to her, she's likely not interested--unless you're dead sexy and highly visible, in which case it's not just her who is interested, I'm sure. But since you seem to suffer from crippling shyness, I'm going to assume you're not very visible.

In that case, you need to talk to her first and foremost. I make it sound easy when I say this, but it helps to find something she's interested in, and that you know a little bit about, and strike up a conversation about it. The best part is, you don't really have to worry about saying much once you've started things along. People love to talk, and more importantly people love to talk about themselves and things they're interested in. So if you sit there and just listen to her talk about something she likes, she'll think you're the greatest conversationalist to walk the planet, and she will notice you.

It's a fact that I live off of. I'm not a very creative conversationalist, and I'm not very quick with words, so I usually just shut up and listen when others are talking, and I find I'm much more well-liked than many people in my acquaintance. You just need to make sure this girl is aware that you're listening.

Re: Lazarius
I'd disagree with your assessment of happiness. Always allowing oneself to be content with one's stake is a path to mediocrity at best. Sure, you're happy, but unless that's all you want, you won't be fulfilled. I do agree that sometimes it can help your mood to just ignore the things that make you unhappy, but you don't want to go too far with it; if you can change something that makes you unhappy, why just accept it instead of changing it. Why not steal the girl that would make you happy if she's so important to you? If she's not totally uninterested, what's wrong with it? I don't mean to sound critical. I just think that unhappiness can be a pretty effective motivator.

Plus, when it's late at night, you'll be able to think, "I did something cool today."

by **Lazarius** » 02.24.10 4:35pm

Stealing her away is something I can definitely do, I'm positive she's into me. That's not the problem. We've dated before, and that time as well I took her from someone who was a much nicer guy than me, dated her for a few weeks and then broke up. I don't even know why. But I can't do that to her again.

by **Lazarius** » 03.01.10 8:48am

I seem to be posting nothing but crap these days, sorry about that.

My experience with women is perhaps not entirely normal, up until year 8 I was too shy to do anything, and so nothing happened until the summer holidays before year 9. I’ve always wanted what I can’t have, and I think this is what led to a preference for girls who were taken, already dating some one. The first girl I ever dated I met in the summer (Christmas here in Australia) holidays. She was dating a guy who was not quite a friend of mine, friend of a friend, I talked to him occasionally anyway. He was a nice guy. It didn’t matter to me though, I wanted her and damn any rules about this sort of thing. I talked to her all through summer, and by the end of the holidays she had broken up with her boyfriend and we were together. We weren’t dating, obviously that would be too much commitment for me. We were just an ‘it’s complicated.’ We hadn’t told anyone, we were going to wait until it was not so obvious she had dumped him for me. As much as I know I’m a dick, I didn’t want to be seen as one.

The problem with not calling yourself a couple is it does not really set any boundaries on what you can do with other people. I didn’t want to commit, and just acted like a general douche, so she just drifted apart and ended up dating another guy, my best friend. He’s a really nice guy. He’s almost a Nice Guy, except he’s actually genuinely kind, and not just looking out for himself. They were dating happily; I was of course just acting as though it didn’t bother me. I should maybe add this girl is not entirely innocent in all this, she’s a nice girl but she tries a little too hard to be one of the cool kids, so she’s kind of a bad girl I guess, multi colour hair-a few facial piercings etc. She tends to get bored in relationships; she has a lot of guy friends and tends to use them to make her boyfriend jealous. We’re actually pretty alike; we enjoy risk and drama, and actively seek it.

They had been dating for 2 months when we started getting close again. It was really just an occasional exchange, and pretty quickly we were flirting as before. I don’t consciously flirt, just when talking to a person I automatically behave so they will like me. We caught the bus together, so it became pretty clear to me something was going to happen, and I’m not going to pretend I tried to stop it. Riding home together one day, we were behaving as we normally do, just flirty and fairly grabby. I’m still not sure how this managed to happen on a bus, but somehow her face ended right in front of mine. And honestly, I have no sort of self-control, so I kissed her. I got off the bus at the next stop, several stops past mine, and just walked home overwhelmed by thoughts. In true me-style, we didn’t say a word the next day. She broke up with her boyfriend a week later.

That night, we spoke on the phone, and we just established how we felt but couldn’t really decide what we were going to do about it. Not long after, we spent the day together and decided to date. Only a few weeks later though, I just didn’t feel it anymore and I broke up with her. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t make the effort to keep the relationship together.

I don’t know why I wrote this, I just thought I’d put it out there. I know I’m a douche, but I honestly have trouble feeling bad about any of this.

by **Naner** » 03.01.10 9:08am

I agree with you, Laz.

Though I do feel sad or angry eventually, I end up being happy very soon.

My grandmother died two weeks ago. I loved her, so I felt sad that day. But, soon enough, I was having fun once more. Now I'm only thinking of how awesome my vacation was (which started December 2nd and ends tomorrow) with the exception of her death.

And hey! Girls normally prefer optimistic guys ready to help them out over emo ones always crying their asses over anything.

Friendly reminder: studies indicate that 8 out of every 10 Metroid fans are too shy to ask a girl out. Weird, isn't it?

by **-ChozoChild-** » 03.01.10 9:12am

Darth Naner wrote:And hey! Girls normally prefer optimistic guys ready to help them out over emo ones always crying their asses over anything.

I agree with that statement. Then again I've never had any 'emo' friends. lol.

by **Lazarius** » 03.01.10 4:14pm

Darth Naner wrote:Friendly reminder: studies indicate that 8 out of every 10 Metroid fans are too shy to ask a girl out. Weird, isn't it?

I have no problem with shyness, if I want to ask a girl out I'll just do it.

by **Steamlord** » 03.01.10 8:54pm

Darth Naner wrote:Friendly reminder: studies indicate that 8 out of every 10 Metroid fans are too shy to ask a girl out. Weird, isn't it?

I'm working on it... Although I can't tell if my resolve is actually strengthening, or if I'm just telling myself it is.

...Aw, screw that crap, I'm going to make some progress before the end of the week. :phazon:

by **AuroraUnitComplex** » 03.02.10 12:43am

Lazarius wrote: She tends to get bored in relationships; she has a lot of guy friends and tends to use them to make her boyfriend jealous. We’re actually pretty alike; we enjoy risk and drama, and actively seek it.[...]

From the sound of it, I don't get along well with people like this. I have little to no sympathy for them, avoid them, and generally hope that they face recurring depression until they stop being centered on themselves and begin to learn the definition of the word "trustworthy."

Outlaw Posts: 3626 Joined: 08.16.08 5:26pm Location: Alabama YIM	Re: Happy by Outlaw » 02.23.10 9:56pm Oh and not to cross reference another thread but... You can be confident and not a jerk!
-ChozoChild- Posts: 2499 Joined: 08.06.09 10:10pm Location: Zebes/US	Re: Happy by -ChozoChild- » 02.23.10 10:44pm I'd try to work things out in a bit of a different way, maybe it's the whole idea of talking to her abut prom that's making you nervous. Maybe talk to her about something you know she likes or is into. I'm sure that you've seen her around, so by now you should know what she likes, or what common ground you share with her.Then after you talk and get you conference level up, then you can ask her out to prom. It might not work for you, but that may be one way of handling this situation. 'See you next mission!'
Steamlord Posts: 3037 Joined: 06.09.09 6:42pm Location: The Technodrome	Re: Happy by Steamlord » 02.23.10 10:48pm -ChozoChild- wrote:I'd try to work things out in a bit of a different way, maybe it's the whole idea of talking to her abut prom that's making you nervous. Maybe talk to her about something you know she likes or is into. I'm sure that you've seen her around, so by now you should know what she likes, or what common ground you share with her.Then after you talk and get you conference level up, then you can ask her out to prom. It might not work for you, but that may be one way of handling this situation. Yeah, it's not just about prom, it's just kind of in general. I'm not really that concerned about the prom aspect. Satch wrote:i like it when people sig me
Outlaw Posts: 3626 Joined: 08.16.08 5:26pm Location: Alabama YIM	Re: Happy by Outlaw » 02.23.10 10:53pm Probably because you think of relationship when you think of her. Don't dream so big so quick.
Steamlord Posts: 3037 Joined: 06.09.09 6:42pm Location: The Technodrome	Re: Happy by Steamlord » 02.23.10 11:01pm Yeah, that's a pretty good point. It's still going to be difficult, but I need to keep that in mind. Thanks. Satch wrote:i like it when people sig me
Outlaw Posts: 3626 Joined: 08.16.08 5:26pm Location: Alabama YIM	Re: Happy by Outlaw » 02.23.10 11:06pm Tell men, does thy lady in which you fancy have thyself a facebook/myspace in which you would more than likely feel more comfortable chatting to her with? In a non-internet-stalker sort of way?
Steamlord Posts: 3037 Joined: 06.09.09 6:42pm Location: The Technodrome	Re: Happy by Steamlord » 02.23.10 11:10pm She probably does, but I don't. I've never really felt the need for either of them. And making one just to talk to her would be the very definition of internet stalker. I'm not going down that road. Satch wrote:i like it when people sig me
ph00tbag Posts: 711 Joined: 09.23.09 4:30pm	Re: Happy by ph00tbag » 02.24.10 11:16am Well, based on your current description, Steamlord, I can say for a fact that if you never talk to her, she's likely not interested--unless you're dead sexy and highly visible, in which case it's not just her who is interested, I'm sure. But since you seem to suffer from crippling shyness, I'm going to assume you're not very visible. In that case, you need to talk to her first and foremost. I make it sound easy when I say this, but it helps to find something she's interested in, and that you know a little bit about, and strike up a conversation about it. The best part is, you don't really have to worry about saying much once you've started things along. People love to talk, and more importantly people love to talk about themselves and things they're interested in. So if you sit there and just listen to her talk about something she likes, she'll think you're the greatest conversationalist to walk the planet, and she will notice you. It's a fact that I live off of. I'm not a very creative conversationalist, and I'm not very quick with words, so I usually just shut up and listen when others are talking, and I find I'm much more well-liked than many people in my acquaintance. You just need to make sure this girl is aware that you're listening. Re: Lazarius I'd disagree with your assessment of happiness. Always allowing oneself to be content with one's stake is a path to mediocrity at best. Sure, you're happy, but unless that's all you want, you won't be fulfilled. I do agree that sometimes it can help your mood to just ignore the things that make you unhappy, but you don't want to go too far with it; if you can change something that makes you unhappy, why just accept it instead of changing it. Why not steal the girl that would make you happy if she's so important to you? If she's not totally uninterested, what's wrong with it? I don't mean to sound critical. I just think that unhappiness can be a pretty effective motivator. Plus, when it's late at night, you'll be able to think, "I did something cool today."
Lazarius Posts: 3474 Joined: 07.20.08 3:57am Location: Insert funny Metroid related location here	Re: Happy by Lazarius » 02.24.10 4:35pm Stealing her away is something I can definitely do, I'm positive she's into me. That's not the problem. We've dated before, and that time as well I took her from someone who was a much nicer guy than me, dated her for a few weeks and then broke up. I don't even know why. But I can't do that to her again. sharonlover wrote:back on topic, take your bondage discussion to pm please
Lazarius Posts: 3474 Joined: 07.20.08 3:57am Location: Insert funny Metroid related location here	Re: Happy by Lazarius » 03.01.10 8:48am I seem to be posting nothing but crap these days, sorry about that. My experience with women is perhaps not entirely normal, up until year 8 I was too shy to do anything, and so nothing happened until the summer holidays before year 9. I’ve always wanted what I can’t have, and I think this is what led to a preference for girls who were taken, already dating some one. The first girl I ever dated I met in the summer (Christmas here in Australia) holidays. She was dating a guy who was not quite a friend of mine, friend of a friend, I talked to him occasionally anyway. He was a nice guy. It didn’t matter to me though, I wanted her and damn any rules about this sort of thing. I talked to her all through summer, and by the end of the holidays she had broken up with her boyfriend and we were together. We weren’t dating, obviously that would be too much commitment for me. We were just an ‘it’s complicated.’ We hadn’t told anyone, we were going to wait until it was not so obvious she had dumped him for me. As much as I know I’m a dick, I didn’t want to be seen as one. The problem with not calling yourself a couple is it does not really set any boundaries on what you can do with other people. I didn’t want to commit, and just acted like a general douche, so she just drifted apart and ended up dating another guy, my best friend. He’s a really nice guy. He’s almost a Nice Guy, except he’s actually genuinely kind, and not just looking out for himself. They were dating happily; I was of course just acting as though it didn’t bother me. I should maybe add this girl is not entirely innocent in all this, she’s a nice girl but she tries a little too hard to be one of the cool kids, so she’s kind of a bad girl I guess, multi colour hair-a few facial piercings etc. She tends to get bored in relationships; she has a lot of guy friends and tends to use them to make her boyfriend jealous. We’re actually pretty alike; we enjoy risk and drama, and actively seek it. They had been dating for 2 months when we started getting close again. It was really just an occasional exchange, and pretty quickly we were flirting as before. I don’t consciously flirt, just when talking to a person I automatically behave so they will like me. We caught the bus together, so it became pretty clear to me something was going to happen, and I’m not going to pretend I tried to stop it. Riding home together one day, we were behaving as we normally do, just flirty and fairly grabby. I’m still not sure how this managed to happen on a bus, but somehow her face ended right in front of mine. And honestly, I have no sort of self-control, so I kissed her. I got off the bus at the next stop, several stops past mine, and just walked home overwhelmed by thoughts. In true me-style, we didn’t say a word the next day. She broke up with her boyfriend a week later. That night, we spoke on the phone, and we just established how we felt but couldn’t really decide what we were going to do about it. Not long after, we spent the day together and decided to date. Only a few weeks later though, I just didn’t feel it anymore and I broke up with her. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t make the effort to keep the relationship together. I don’t know why I wrote this, I just thought I’d put it out there. I know I’m a douche, but I honestly have trouble feeling bad about any of this. sharonlover wrote:back on topic, take your bondage discussion to pm please
Naner Posts: 6444 Joined: 05.23.07 3:29pm Location: Brazil http://steamcommunity.com/id/RenanGreca/ Website https://twitter.com/darthnaner	Re: Happy by Naner » 03.01.10 9:08am I agree with you, Laz. Though I do feel sad or angry eventually, I end up being happy very soon. My grandmother died two weeks ago. I loved her, so I felt sad that day. But, soon enough, I was having fun once more. Now I'm only thinking of how awesome my vacation was (which started December 2nd and ends tomorrow) with the exception of her death. And hey! Girls normally prefer optimistic guys ready to help them out over emo ones always crying their asses over anything. Friendly reminder: studies indicate that 8 out of every 10 Metroid fans are too shy to ask a girl out. Weird, isn't it? Last edited by Naner on 03.01.10 9:14am, edited 1 time in total. Tianna wrote:Naner, you rock. My Facebook Shinesparkers
-ChozoChild- Posts: 2499 Joined: 08.06.09 10:10pm Location: Zebes/US	Re: Happy by -ChozoChild- » 03.01.10 9:12am Darth Naner wrote:And hey! Girls normally prefer optimistic guys ready to help them out over emo ones always crying their asses over anything. I agree with that statement. Then again I've never had any 'emo' friends. lol. 'See you next mission!'
Lazarius Posts: 3474 Joined: 07.20.08 3:57am Location: Insert funny Metroid related location here	Re: Happy by Lazarius » 03.01.10 4:14pm Darth Naner wrote:Friendly reminder: studies indicate that 8 out of every 10 Metroid fans are too shy to ask a girl out. Weird, isn't it? I have no problem with shyness, if I want to ask a girl out I'll just do it. sharonlover wrote:back on topic, take your bondage discussion to pm please
Steamlord Posts: 3037 Joined: 06.09.09 6:42pm Location: The Technodrome	Re: Happy by Steamlord » 03.01.10 8:54pm Darth Naner wrote:Friendly reminder: studies indicate that 8 out of every 10 Metroid fans are too shy to ask a girl out. Weird, isn't it? I'm working on it... Although I can't tell if my resolve is actually strengthening, or if I'm just telling myself it is. ...Aw, screw that crap, I'm going to make some progress before the end of the week. Satch wrote:i like it when people sig me
AuroraUnitComplex Posts: 647 Joined: 07.25.08 4:30pm Location: CA	Re: Happy by AuroraUnitComplex » 03.02.10 12:43am Lazarius wrote: She tends to get bored in relationships; she has a lot of guy friends and tends to use them to make her boyfriend jealous. We’re actually pretty alike; we enjoy risk and drama, and actively seek it.[...] From the sound of it, I don't get along well with people like this. I have little to no sympathy for them, avoid them, and generally hope that they face recurring depression until they stop being centered on themselves and begin to learn the definition of the word "trustworthy."

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